Dear Soul Family,
So....here we all are, being extraordinarily tested on every level right now! And despite the enormous fear running rampant I also feel the LOVE......the deep realization in the cracks between fear that 'we are in this together' and together we will get through it! I feel that love is actually... all around!
I had an extraordinary day last Tuesday 17th March...one I will always remember. Just like we know exactly where we were when we heard of the plane hitting the twin towers, I will always remember this day. The day I flew back to Canada in the midst of Corona Virus Pandemonium.
Having chosen to fly back to the UK to visit family and friends on the 1st of March for a month (am trusting this was also part of a Divine Plan but more about that some other time!) I was rapidly swept into the ever-increasing alarm as the virus took hold. As things became more and more serious, I realized I needed to try and fly home before the end of the month, because I'd need to self isolate for 14 days before returning to work. So began the frantic navigation of trying to get through to my airline (mission impossible!) then navigate the financial decision do I bite the bullet and spend an absolute fortune ($2,800.00) on a flight back sooner. Can I justify the cost?
But what if I get stuck in the UK for months, unable to keep counselling all the people dependent on my support, and unable to keep earning an income.......
Was I worth it? Was my safety important? Could I justify spending that amount of money?
My mind a whirl...
If I didn't get back I'd be burdening my family and friends ...possibly putting them in more risk of catching the virus.....and for all I know maybe I had already caught it from the flight over and unknowingly carrying it......crazy making thoughts raced through my mind!
But the biggest test was leaving my loved ones behind to return to Canada.... all my maternal instincts were saying stay, take care of your Brother and friends...we are all in it together. Yet how do I split myself in half.... what about loved ones in Canada ... the people I love most in the world both in the UK and in Canada......
No doubt a dilemma lots of you will also be having to make in the coming days, weeks ... should I go to the grocery store, to work, to visit my elderly relative...or not?
I had to curb this instinct fueled from limbic flooding and find my logical brain......wait for the emotions to calm so my prefrontal cortex rationale could come back on board. It made most sense to keep myself financially stable, in work so I could support those I love more effectively. Albeit from a distance.
Like the airplane...fit your oxygen mask first, before putting on the child's....
So, I bit the bullet, got my credit card out and bought the earliest direct flight to Calgary. Tuesday 17th March!
My lovely friends in the UK urged me to get home fast, my lovely friends in Golden were awesome ... rallied with offers to get groceries in for me and stock up my fridge.... I felt so LOVED and cared about! My ex Art had offered to pick me up in Banff, but I became increasingly scared of exposing him as he has a compromised immune system so I SOS texted my dear friend Nancy to ask her a huge favor, would she drive out in convoy with Art so he could leave my car there, and bring him back! She was ON IT right away.....cos she has a big heart and lives from the truth that LOVE IS ALL THAT MATTERS!!
Fast forward to Heathrow Airport......my dear friend Sally, my old school friend who I'd been staying with (her family adopted me for Xmas's a few years ago, thank you so much Sally you truly are a Human Angel on this planet!) had driven me to the airport. She was coming in to see me off and just check the flight was still running. We emerged from the car park into the airport full of people with masks on big wide eyes bulging from sockets and a strange pensiveness with an energy I am still trying to figure out. Shock I think.... like the dazed look of a deer caught in the headlights.
I turned to Sally right away and said......" You stop here and go back now. I will be alright.... I don't want you exposed to all these people and potential risk." She looked back at me and said bravely "No. I'll be alright" ....... LOVE......right there, was all around!
"You sure?" I said.... she insisted, convincing me of the antiseptic wipes she had in her bag she'd use before getting in the car to go home. So, we squeezed our way down a big long line up of people waiting for some flight or another and bewildered I checked in for my luggage tags. I was busy looking around to find out where I go next with my own panic ever rising......and then I noticed Sally there helping an even more bewildered girl to navigate the check in process.....there yet again it struck me.....she was embodying LOVE.....in that moment witnessing her act of service, her loving presence....I realized that LOVE was my main weapon in germ warfare. To stay in my heart...to BE Love ... not because I had to or should, but because it just felt better. Felt right.
In that moment I recalled Course in Miracles teaching......there's only ever 2 courses of action Fear or Love!!
From that moment on a calm instantly swept over me ...and I knew I'd be okay no matter what. And from this calmness was a deep strength...and in the heart of that was a Grace-filled Love!
Sally and I went over to the security entrance knowing this was where she'd have to leave me. I was on my own after that ...and looked at each other...tears in our eyes...and so much LOVE!
I'd already said goodbye to Phil her awesome hubby that morning and he said "sod the no hug rule" and Sally and I did the same......one big hug later and a tearful goodbye we went our separate ways.....but still so connected energetically ...by LOVE!
See, it really IS all around.....
I calmly went through security.... Strangely calm as that bit of travelling always gets me antsy at the best of times for some reason ... bought water and snacks and read my book at the departure gate. I messaged my loved ones to say I got through check in okay...my Brother replying with relief instantly, sending me all his love. And another dear friend Judith phoned me on whats app and we chatted...filling me with LOVE! I texted folks back in Canada too, letting them know I was okay. The fear in the line up to board the plane was palpable...and I wasn't looking forward to being jammed into a small space with all that chaotic fear energy......"keep breathing Liza...long slow out breaths" self-soothing tools at the ready ...trust, trust ...focus on love and grace.
The flight took off and we had the most amazing flight attendants in our aisle ...they oozed loving kindness. At first I thought they'd been briefed by Air Canada on how to remain calm and keep people's anxiety at bay, but after chatting to one at the back of the plane in the washroom line up, no, I doubt it! They were awaiting news next week of job losses....
No, it was because..." we are all in this together" as one of them told an elderly passenger ...it was because they had caught it too, this contagious Loving Grace Energy....
And they loved us all the way home to Canada.....
So, truly love is all around........if we choose love over fear!
Then on arriving and switching my phone on to discover a message that my shuttle service to Banff had closed down I had a choice........love or fear! Strangely I remained calm.....nothing I could do about it at that moment awaiting customs check . They told me I could try Brewster's instead or hotel!
I texted Art who'd earlier that day gone in convoy with my awesome friend Nancy to drop my car off in Banff so I could self isolate and drive home on my own. He said "Fuck. Brewster schedule says there's one at 18.30pm".
I asked him to call them for me.......which he did......that crazy little thing called LOVE again.....and I stayed in loving calm surrender that I'd get through the line up and run trundling my case the long distance through an empty airport in time to make it! Which I did ...and the lovely Lady at the counter (likely out of a job too by now!) was so kind......so.....Loving!
There it was again.....LOVE! And the driver was so kind...these amazing people of service...stepping up and leaning in instead of running away in fear. After all they didn't know who has the virus.....who didn't.
Love, not Fear!
Love, not Fear!
Choose Love, not Fear!
I messaged a few more friends on the bus ...my LOVING human angels who wanted a grocery list from me so they could stock up my fridge with food for my quarantine told me mission accomplished ...all that LOVE, I never once for a minute felt alone!
I found my car and began the last leg of my long long journey home.....usually I am asleep mouth open fly catching at this point in years of travel back and forth between my 2 homes UK and Canada......but not that night. 9pm…fueled with caffeine and adrenaline.....and Grace I began my drive home.
"Oops....brakes on my car very spongy compared to the sharp ones on the hire car....
Got to remember I'm driving on the right side of the road........
Turn on the music Liza, keep you awake......."
Wet Wet Wet....LOVE IS ALL AROUND YOU!!!! Blasted at me from the speakers...
Of course,....it was still in my car after using it to drive up the ski hill over NY after I'd skidded off the road into the ditch and was nervous about driving up there again 3 days later. It's a special song my Brother and I use to remind each other we are always connected by love, heart to heart.....
It's our go to when we needed a virtual hug, needed to be filled with the others love. And here it was playing on the CD.
So I drove on snowy roads, with the hypnotic flakes of snow tumbling towards me in the headlights with Love is All Around Me playing.......deeply connected to his Loving Presence!
And I made it home.......
To the fire aglow.......Art had popped up to light it for me......there it is again, LOVE!
I never slept so good that night.....not just because I was tired but because I was carried on the WINGS OF LOVE safely home.......by you all, and because I realized it is ultimately all that matters.
LOVE!
So....now I am home safe and sound in self quarantine, and taking very seriously the fact that potentially I may have been exposed to the virus or carrying it even, I will be dedicating my time to spreading this Loving Transmission I believe I was gifted with on Tuesday 17th March....
LOVE IS ALL THAT MATTERS!
Together, we can and we will get through this!
I feel so loved, and I hope you too can drop to feeling that love is actually all around!
I feel it in my fingers, I feel it in my toes!!
And so the feeling grows..........
https://youtu.be/hTKsF3fLpJI
We've seen in the last few weeks that fear is contagious.....maybe more so than the virus! But so too is LOVE......GRACE!
My wise enlightened teacher Brandon Bays taught me that ...that Grace is Contagious too!
Where thought goes....energy flows......so even if it's just for 30 mins a day, the more we can source into the place of peace, calm, grace, love the better we will cope with the outer challenges the next few weeks and months will bring us.
Together we will get through this....one way or another!
The more we can pull together the more lives will be spared!
Lets care for each other in all this!
All My Love,
Liza xxx
